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Bad day texts of all time
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| (txtr1) : | we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' |
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| (txtr1) : | Did we have sex last night? |
| (txtr2) : | I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. | |
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| (txtr1) : | any reason you wont pick up my calls? |
| (txtr2) : | hmmm maybe the panties i found under your bed.. | | (txtr1) : | i tried cross dressing. id never cheat | | (txtr2) : | so the used condom was part of that too huh | |
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| (txtr1) : | so... how'd it go man? you get some? |
| (txtr2) : | yeah... totally... | | (txtr1) : | oh no, what? | | (txtr2) : | the condom she brought, was too big... | |
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| (txtr1) : | Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. |
| (txtr2) : | Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? | | (txtr1) : | Holy shit r u serious? How? | | (txtr2) : | Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. | |
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| (txtr1) : | im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;) |
| (txtr2) : | this is your brother. | |
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| (txtr1) : | my math teacher staples macdonalds applications to failed tests |
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| (txtr1) : | Welcome to dumpsville - population YOU!! Next time you come on to one of my friends make sure its the slutty one not the christian one. |
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| (txtr1) : | Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. |
| (txtr2) : | Two? | | (txtr1) : | Two. | |
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| (txtr1) : | omg omg kill me now. my dress was too short, he saw a string hanging out of it and tugged on it |
| (txtr2) : | so? | | (txtr1) : | tampon. | |
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| (txtr1) : | Ewww dont you hate it when you pick your dog up and you finger his asshole by accident |
| (txtr2) : | Some things we keep to ourselves Will | |
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| (txtr1) : | i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure. |
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| (txtr1) : | i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it. |
| (txtr2) : | she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her. | | (txtr1) : | are you serious? | |
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| (txtr1) : | I just caught my parents doing role play...Im moving out. Can i stay at yours? |
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| (txtr1) : | shit john just passed out and i think harry has broken his arm, whats the numbe for 999? |
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