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| (txtr1) : | i think my breath could take out a small village. |
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| (txtr1) : | Err. What does this button do? |
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| (txtr1) : | Last night was so good I hope you changed your parents sheets ;) |
| (txtr1) : | hi its dans mum, just thought I'd let you know he left his phone at home... | |
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| (txtr1) : | except for what I just found out about my older brother I had a pretty good childhood! |
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| (txtr1) : | we just gave your number to a gay guy in a restaurant in New York. Like really gay. |
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| (txtr1) : | Let's just pretend that I didn't try to eat your face last night. |
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| (txtr1) : | somebody poo'd on my bonnet and left 10 pounds in the windscreen wiper |
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| (txtr1) : | Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes older men...Sorry |
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| (txtr1) : | i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!! |
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| (txtr1) : | every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. |
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| (txtr1) : | Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches... |
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| (txtr1) : | how do we leave politely? |
| (txtr2) : | Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke. | |
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| (txtr1) : | and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening |
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| (txtr1) : | i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it. |
| (txtr2) : | she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her. | | (txtr1) : | are you serious? | |
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